There are peonies in front of my house that only bloom one-to-two weeks out of the whole year. After they bloom, the flowers start to look a little crazy, drop their petals, and are gone. I have to wait a long 51 weeks to see them again. When they bloom, they’re the most vibrant pink I’ve ever seen. I love them so much and get so excited to see them bloom every year even though we have such a short time together. 

These peonies teach me to enjoy the beauty of the present moment. So often my mind is in the past, batting away painful memories of rejection, hurt, or failure. And other days my mind is brimming with the future, occupied by possibilities, improvements, and plans.

And certainly there is beauty in the past and future. I can think back to last Mother’s Day when these peonies bloomed and my mom’s face lit up with delight looking at them. I can think to the future of next year, expectant for the beauty of this vibrant creation I’ll see again. But even more importantly, these flowers help me see beauty in the now. How sad would it be to only reminisce about or anticipate these peonies and miss the splendor right in front of me?

Someone else I know has enjoyed the beauty of flowers and the present moment: Jesus. In Matthew 6:28 Jesus asks the crowd “…why do you worry?” and talks about the beauty of flowers as an example of how we do not need to be occupied with future thoughts about how our needs will be met. And Jesus goes on to say in verse 34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matt 6:34, NIV). 

How cool is it that Jesus looked at flowers too? And when he did, it reminded him of staying in the present moment. One of the translations from the Greek of the word “worry” in this passage is to “take thought" (1). So when Jesus asks “why do you worry” I hear Jesus asking, “Why are you holding on to this thought? Why is this occupying space in your mind?” And perhaps an even more poignant question I hear is, “Why are you letting this thought distract you from me?”

And it’s not wrong to think about the past or worry about the future - God wouldn’t wire our brains with those capabilities if there wasn’t some beauty in them - everything God makes is good (see Creation story). The problem comes when we are so occupied with what once was or what will be that we miss God with us now. Remember one of Jesus' names? Immanuel, which means God with us (Matt 1:23, NIV). Of course, God was with us in the past and God will be with us in the future, but God doesn’t want us to miss God with us now. 

I'm still a work in progress, but this way of thinking has become a game changer for me. Previously to stifle my worries, I would often sit and think about how God had provided for me in the past to help me trust that God would provide for me in the future - and that is wonderful and there are so many places in the Bible that teach us to do that. But while doing this, I acted like God was far away, helpful in a distant time. What I wasn't doing was also acknowledging that God was with me in my worry at that very moment. Now when a worry creeps up, I try to remember to say "God, help me see where you are in this moment." 

"The problem comes when we are so occupied with what once was or what will be that we miss God with us now."

So friend, would you be willing to ask this question with me: What’s occupying my mind today? What thoughts am I holding onto that are distracting me from sensing God’s presence right now? 

And if you’re like me and you have an overactive mind that’s always working overtime and don’t know how to get out of the web of your thoughts, I like to start with a deep breath.

Today, I hope you’ll join me in slowing down the mind, taking a deep breath, and soaking in the majesty of God with us.

Try this breath prayer to remind you that God is with you right now. Inhale for 4 seconds, silently saying the corresponding words to yourself, then exhale for 4 seconds, silently saying the corresponding words to yourself.

Inhale: I am with you always
Exhale: To the very end of the age

(Adapted from Matthew 28:20, NIV)

Work Cited
(1) "μεριμνάω" Blue Letter Bible, Accessed 15 May 2021. https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G3309&t=NIV

As some of you may know, a few weeks ago I spent some time at a dude ranch. I had ridden horses before, but this place really helped me understand the ins and the outs of horseback riding, from how to hold the reigns to the position of your feet to different riding techniques. You could take group lessons and learn the fundamentals all the way up to advanced horseback riding. However, you couldn’t take the advanced class until you’d passed what they call a lope check which is where you get the horse to consistently lope, where the front legs and back legs each gallop together (rather than a trot where all four legs go down at different times). 

The lope check was difficult, I knew I wasn’t ready for it. The first time I had loped on a horse in an intermediate lesson, I was scared for my life. I just wanted to stay atop the horse and stay alive, not keep doing it for fun. Some people who came to the ranch would fail the lope check 6 times before they passed it, all because their foot was bent the wrong way. These wranglers took it seriously, and also prepared you for it along the way. And even when you passed the lope check, it meant you were qualified for advanced training. 

Building up to the lope check reminded me of Luke 9 when Jesus sends out the 12 disciples by themselves for the first time. Before this, the disciples had followed Jesus and watched Jesus cast out a demon, heal a hemorrhaging woman, and raise a young girl from the dead. Now, it was their turn. They’d gone through beginner lessons of healing 101 and intermediate lessons of demon casting 202, and now it was time for the lope check of discipleship. Would what they learned help heal the sick and further the Kingdom of God?

This might feel an awful lot like where you are today. You feel that God has been training you, giving you unique life experiences, encounters with specific people, and special spiritual gifts in order to further God’s reign. You’ve found that you have a passion for racial reconciliation, for writing that book, for starting that small group. 

And now, it’s time for the lope check. You know it’s time to do something you’ve never done before and you might feel scared and unqualified. And to be honest, I’m there with you in that feeling right now. 

But I want to assure you, that you are ready and qualified because God is your teacher. And get this, one of my favorite scenes is during the transfiguration, where God talks to Jesus before his crucifixion. Even the Son of God was trained in the temples and met by God the Father for help in his mission. 

And the good news is, you are never left alone on your mission. You’ve been given the power of the Holy Spirit to remind you what God has taught you, to help you with what to ask God for, and to be comforted when things go awry. 

"...you are never left alone on your mission."

Your lope check might not go well the first time. You might be stuck in a trot, fumbling through pastoral care, your first counseling session, or your first time telling your story rather than achieving the lope. You might make some mistakes, you’re human, you’ve never done this before. But like the disciples came back to Jesus after they were sent out, you are never done with your training. It’s lifelong. You’ll always be able to come back to Jesus to learn, to grow, and to continue in confidence that you are qualified to further God’s kingdom. 

So whether you’re waiting to start that clinic, waiting to get that schooling, waiting to write that song, if you are doing it to further God’s kingdom, you can stand in confidence that God will prepare you for it and will carry you through it. 

Let’s pray: Gracious Teacher, thank you for preparing us for this Christian life through your Word and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Help us to use what you’ve given us, our gifts and our talents and our experiences to heal people’s lives and further your Kingdom. We ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Reflect: What is it that God's equipping you for? Have you been praying for the next step? Have you spoken to a spiritual director or pastor for guidance and discernment?

My husband and I just bought a new grill last week, so of course, we wanted to cook everything on our new grill. Our house smells super smoky right now. One evening we started up the grill and heard thunder in the distance. But the sky looked clear, my trusty weather app said there was no rain predicted for that night, so I thought, you know what, let’s just keep going, I’m sure it’s going to be fine. It’s not gonna rain here. But sure enough, the rains came apouring. All of a sudden, we were not worried with our safety or dryness as much as our new grill’s safety. We just bought it, so we didn’t want it sitting out in the rain hot with cold water on it. It might crack, it might get rusty. And the grill was too hot and smoky to put the cover on it. So, at first, my husband tried to position our huge patio table umbrella next to the grill so that the grill would stay dry in the rain. But the winds were too intense and it kept falling. So as my husband kept nursing the coals of the grill to finish our dinner, I stood next to the grill holding the patio table umbrella in place over the grill.

As the wind was blowing, the rain was coming down sideways, and I was holding that oversized patio umbrella upright, it reminded me of the precious moment of Moses, Aaron and Hur in Exodus. During the battle against the Amalekites, it was only when the staff of God was raised in Moses’ hands that the Israelites were winning. When Moses had his staff lowered, the enemy was winning. And when Moses’ arms got so tired from holding the staff, his right-hand men had to put a stone under him and held his hands up, one on each side (Ex 17:12).

I don’t know what tough time you are going through or what challenge you may be facing, but I do know that you can’t make it alone. And sometimes, we feel pressured to do it alone. Sometimes we feel like we can't bring our baggage to the church, to our family, or even to our friends, because we’re worried we’ll be judged if we don’t measure up. And some of us have felt the sting of rejection from confiding in people we thought would care about us. And if that’s happened to you, I am so sorry. Our experiences may have reinforced us to hide our challenges inside, resigning to the fact that we just have to deal with it all on our own. And haven’t we all tried to make it on our own at some point? We think if we can just try harder, work longer, read the right book, go cold turkey, we can stop our bad habits, our bad thoughts, or our pain for good. But every time we try to do something on our own, it fails. We go back to our coping mechanism, we keep spiraling in our unhealed wounds, and, like Moses, our arms get tired from carrying the weight of the world in our hands. 

No, we can’t do it alone. We need help. Just like my husband needed me to hold the umbrella steady during the storm, we need help keeping ourselves steady in the storm. We need something to prop us up when we’re too tired to keep going. We need the power of God to lift us up, the sustaining power that the Holy Spirit gives. And sometimes, this power of God comes through the vehicle of others. Just like Aaron and Hur had to lift Moses’ hands up, sometimes God’s power works through the people who help lift us up: a timely word from a friend, encouragement from a partner, a discovery from a trusted counselor, and yes, sometimes, help from our medication (gasp!). ​